I am rough, raw, unpolished, unapologetic, rash, brash, misunderstood, unrefined, aggressive, and blunt. These adjectives can be seen through all aspects of my life, though they don't even begin to describe who I truly am. Being these ways, I am not a very normal, easily likeable, or tolerable person. I have a hate me or love me quality, there is no fence. Also, details bore me and mostly piss me off. I am a concept, or big idea man. I focus in on my destination, not my path. I have great intentions, just not great actions. I get shit done, not in the best of ways, but my own and I am happy, but not the world. I hate presentation and the whole concept, of being presentable. I consider things that are presentable, bullshit, mostly intended to please certain social/traditional norms and mindsets which I feel have set the world back hundreds of years. I intentionally and unintentionally disregard them.
I went to the Lift Lounge tonight, an upscale club in downtown that was definitely popping. At first glance I felt outta place. Every dude had on "sexy shirts" and shit. You know the kind that are too tight to breathe in or that have a V-neck so deep that the dude has man cleavage. One dude even had the nerve to have Under Armor on. Basically not my, polo style shirt, or express button up crowd. And the WOMEN WERE ON POINT. Even the ugly chicks were fly. I was like damn this is the place for me. No one was even dancing, just drinking and conversing. I came in a silk soft pank button up, jeans and black Steve Maddens, which hurt my feet, but I still felt like these Blacks were too refined for me. I might look like I'm about something in this button up, but I'm still a trifling dude from Mesquite. But these girls didn't know that, nor did that assume that. They assumed that I was out of school, or working some high level job. I even saw a girl I tried to get at a while back, in there. When I first came at her, I was Tall-T'd out with forces and fresh white T. She called me ghetto. But when I saw her in there, she was all friendly and shit, didn't even remember me from earlier. She asked if I was from Plano or Houston, of all places. It was funny too me. Later on through the night, as the drinks kept coming and the music got more and more gutter, the Blacks got more and more gutter. Those same "high class" girls were shaking there ass like the "ghetto" girls at Cirque or Che. That's when I understood what I did wrong. I judge the package, before I new what was inside.
Those same six color weave girls, and 28' caprice having niggas, were here too, just dressed differently. I confused style and substance, which many do all the time. I have a lot of substance, just no style that is palatable to many. It’s my own, bear bones, blunt way of handling things. No tact. I feel people tend to dress up the truth, to make it cosmetically alluring, when in the end, it’s still the same. Like a say a man is a man, even in a dress.
So much in life we spend time making things presentable that, we make something totally different. We lose focus of what it is, in an attempt to redress what it is. Even more over, we try to alter how we may, speak, act, look, think, or even believe, not to feel better, but to make others feel better. We spend so much time pleasing others that we lose ourselves in the process. Growing as a person, and creating a different life are two different things. Instead of losing weight, some just buy bigger clothes to cover up the weight. Which doesn’t change the weight just covers it up. Instead of telling someone how we feel, we fake smile and whisper behind their back; all in a vain attempt to remain presentable.
News anchors wear make up, and get their hair and nails done, to deliver news. I don’t care if the muthafucka has one tooth. If there is a meteor coming at my house I need to know. Politicians re-word war to Operation, to make it more presentable to the public. People get dressed up just to have a photo shoot for their Profile Pic on facebook/myspace. Schools get closed, because the states don’t want the low test scores of the students, to lower their average. All in the name of presentation.
Next time really think what are you presenting and better yet what’s being presented to you. Reality or Reality TV. Even the hardest thugs wear a suit to court.