Monday, November 22, 2010

Anchor (Free Write) (JOATMON)

What you think I aint know?
You thought you had me fooled
With all the sex and food, you thought you had me fueled
But after my Ex I went green
So my power is solar
But you weren’t shining on me
Eclipsed my was over
I stayed mostly because I was afraid
For another disappointment
Seems me and love can never meet up
Just a bunch of missed appointments
Should I give my heart condolence?
Or keep taken these empty Trojans as consoling
Me and my conscious had a conference
You should have heard the all the mean comments
Thinking I should just give up
And be happy with empty boxes of condoms
But theses boxes of randoms
Belong @ the garage sale
My trash is someone's treasure
How ever they just garbage here
Maybe I am just seeing the mirage still
I do wear glasses
Am I victimized cuz I'm astigmaztized
Young Harry potter no magic
Lighting bolt, no voldermort
I am the answer to toms riddle
But I can’t kill my self
I’ve tried everything, swords to missiles see they always do this
Try to play me and make me look foolish
Then I try to blame my self,
Cuz if something wasn’t wrong they wouldn’t do this
They add to my insecurity, but it’s not me
It’s them, it's them, it's them, it’s them
From Questioning to Confident
Every time I kiss these girls goodbye, I know I won’t miss them
Can’t be buoyant with a leak, cuz I'll pollute like an oil tanker
These hoes are air in my sails
But I got the current, so what I really need is an anchor

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Don't Even Know My Name (JOATMON)

I know you...
I know your name
I know how your eyes dance when the sunlight hits them @ the right angle
I know how when you smile, your left one is lower than your right
I know how your smile tilts to the left
I know you love the Jordan 3s in the original colors
I know you were a tomboy before college, so you still walk awkward in heels
I know you got a man
I know you it hard it was to go to a meeting after he slept with your neo
I know you wore sunglasses for weeks straight to cover up the tears and smugged mascara
I know you wanted to leave, but doubted you can find better
I know you want better
I know I'm better

But you dont know that...
You don't know I wait to see pass by everyday
You don't know that we got class in the same building, and I hold the door when you arrive and as you leave
You don't know that I slid you those notes in your bag, when you were too heartbroken to pay attention
You don't know that I hid that last pair of III's that no one could find, just for you when they released
You don't know that I would never treat you wrong
You don't know true happiness yet, because you don't know me
You don't know the color of my eyes
You don't know the sound of my voice don't even know my name


Fighting With God (JOATMON)

I had a fight with God last night.
Condescendingly He glared at me, while I knocked back the last corner of Hennessey
As the last drop of liquid courage rolled into my bowels, I snapped!

I threw the bottle at God and lunged for him…through him
Towards the fully loaded glock laying oh so consolingly on my bed
Defiantly, I turned around, gun square to my temple, staring God straight in the eyes
Laughing as the milliseconds to my fall of freedom tocked

As I pulled the trigger, God grabbed my leg, pulling me towards Him
The bullet shot past my head into the wall; the gun sailed across the room
Anger surged through every cell!
I would not be denied this; after all He has denied me!

Each lunge for my last opportunity of happiness was futile
God knocked me away from it, it away from me
But this would be the last time!
With a deafening yell, I dove towards the gun, turned and aimed right at His heart…
And fired!-Without hesitation or consideration

With every shot that rang out, I cried more and more
Even if I wanted to let stop, I couldn’t!
The gun seemed to meld to my hands
And as the last shots echo dissipated, the smoking sword dropped

I couldn’t open my eyes and accept my actions
Although closed, they leaked like levees
I couldn’t even fall on my sword because all of the bullets were gone…
I dropped…Yet something, someone one caught me
Slowly opening my eyes to discover the witness of my crime, shock engulfed me

God was there holding me and I realized
It was him who was holding my hands to the gun
Ensuring every bullet was gone
And he whispered to me: “You can never leave me, For I will never leave you”

You see last night I had a fight with God
And I won! because you can never lose with God on your team

...Fight with Faith...


Inspired by BMF Gospel Remix "Can't Shoot Through Jesus"