Wednesday, December 29, 2010

1st and 15th (JOATMON)

Pulling in thirty K, paying off Sallie Mae
Finding access to success through the alleyways
Thought school was an alley-oop to fair ways in Calloways
But when that galaxy found gravity, fell the facade of fallacy
Hourly what the fuck is salary
IDK what salad is feasted on my sorrows to the morrow- devoured me
Got fat off my fears and "coulda been" calories
Never thought I'd be a drone
Never thought I'd be a clone
Single for three years never thought I'd be alone
Graduated highest honors never thought I'd get a loan
Got that refund check how did I ever get along
Fresh crib, fresh whip, stocked fridge with a phone
Cuz I was balling in college, I may never get a home
In heartbreaks hotel and mediocrity's motel
Apartments of Apathy Who Cares, O'Well
Dreams of Pulitzers, Oscars, Grammys and Nobels
The tragedy of imagining...Who Cares, O'Well
So sails my yacht of youth, salutations to my wants
In debt to credit and them bills debit first of the month
....clocking in...
....checking out...

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Monday, December 27, 2010

Long Gone (JOATMON)

You don't know what you feel...
Because you feel who you don't know
You don't know whats real
You just sit back and wait for the truth to show
Yea its gonna bug me for you to go
I can see it all, it happened so quick but its moving slow
The smile, the raise eyed brow, scowl, straight face
You just go out outta danger, thought you were in a safe place
In you i found more potential regret than a thousand men could forget
Never ever thought I'd be checked
You started playing checkers with pieces for chess
I thought I could be the greatest champion of this challenge
But you straight cross me over like when Jordan met Allen
That stumble wont hurt my legacy
but i''ll always wonder the deposits in the accounts that we left of We
Accrue interest of something we'll never see
What was aint what is, what we were will never be
We are what we are you know damn well I could have took you the stars boo
But I aint gonna argue, you was either gonna leave now or leave later
Sister girl, we hatched something that was a gift for the creator
Before our love bird could fly it had to sing its swan song
I was going long, looked around, and you were Long...Gone
...So long lone

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

eriCalifornia (JOATMON)

You took the sunshine away from Texas
...well from me when you took your exit
Cali dreaming became your reality
Living your dreams became my fatality
1 of 3 but really 1 of 1
Exclusive, elusive... 1 of none

Our perfect match was riddled with indecision
On my part, on my heart were still gaps from her incision
I was still bleeding couldn't you see the bandages?
I still needed healing

But you didn't want to wait though
I never thought the miles could be extended between Denton and Waco
Hours became days
We went months without talking even the shade started to fade
We both have put people on the bus
Passengers and Drivers of Broken Heart Anonymous
We like to pretend that it'll happen someday
Some way, one day right now is just a really long Sunday

Who knows if its a vacation
Since us has been vacated, others have tried to make accommodations
But some reason they dont fit
Some reason they dont get
Why they always become formers
My manifest destiny...
Los Angeles, eriCalifornia

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Sunday, December 19, 2010

For Jynine (JOATMON)

Alone so for long, I wrote so many poems
So many sad songs, for girls so far so gone
Sung about my nightmares but never bout my dreams
But this right here, this ones for Jynine
I took too long, them other girls were scenes
You missed the Lion, but you’ll be for the fin

We first crossed paths in the Spring
I was on my way out, you were thinking of coming in
All you saw down @ Baylor
That I was some crazy Omega
This was your first scene
I never knew what you could bring
Bing, saw you when ya came down for orientation
I was there helping my self to the future sensations
That’s when we met eyes, which increased my temptation
I rushed home clicked add, and awaited the MS confirmation
Hell yea I found you, baby I was bound too
School was a month a way, my orbit you’d be around soon
I couldn’t wait, I wanted you now boo
Got the number, Tx summer, so we
Up up and away
Talked on the phone all night, texted each other all day
I never knew you steal every scene away


School started, the pool parted, but it became populated
All the fresh fish, had a nigga discombobulated
I knew I liked what I saw, but I still aint know you
That you was a really a woman, you still aint show boo
I had fell hard once, and recently had been tripped again
Tore love’s ligaments, wasn’t tryin to slip again
So I started to dip again….again….again….and again
I had a gotten away with it, before that year
I had gotten away from them, but not you dear
It seemed, people couldn’t speak my name with out yours
Like Me Rhyan, in 05 when I was in Martin 4th Floor
We came synonymous, like like and feeling
It was so uncommon that I liked that feeling
Even though haven’t yet made to duo
I know well never fall off like Pluto


Sorry for making you wait Jy…My
Feelings were always there even if I aint show em
Feelings were always there how didn’t you know know em
My….b, eautiful less than 3 <3
Emoiticon, but nothing is robotic
This smiley has a body, and you put the heart inside it


Jack of All Trades...Master of None


I am hip hop's petro
The oil is the ghetto
The beat is a Citgo-The central
Nevous system is angst and aggression
Thanks Mr. Reagen and thank the depression-Digestion
People's lives look inside its intestines
See Tyrone, Julio, Thien, and Preston

One hand on the the trigger, one hand on the figures
One hand on the liquor, one hand on the swisher
One hand on the wheel, one hand out the window
Four Fingers Down, to the world of hating ass niggas
One Foot in Jordans, One foot in gators
Both legs on the court, but two different spectators
Judge, jury defendant and bailiff
Coach, referee, fans and players

Eyes in the apartments, tears flood the pavement
Potholes are the pools and its such an odd placement
Cant no one swim, so when they drown there is noone to save them
Dreams and miracles are on time bill payments

Everyone wants a loaf but they fighting over crumbs
So they toast brains for grains, aint got enough for the crust of the bun
Son! Its son's are sons of sons
Sons of a Bitches and Son of a guns
Believe more in the son of sam then the son of Lamb
But best believe they hit they knees when He comes again
He used syringes to teeth when his teeth were coming in-Stumbling
First steps over pots and pans
Pails full of banking soda, crack rocks in its box of sand
Drop the hand Mr. DJ, scratch and fade
If you dont wanna wipe out then catch the wave
Hip Hops at high tide, yet still cresting and forming
So if you thought the storm was a problem
I'm a fucking Tsunami

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Monday, November 22, 2010

Anchor (Free Write) (JOATMON)

What you think I aint know?
You thought you had me fooled
With all the sex and food, you thought you had me fueled
But after my Ex I went green
So my power is solar
But you weren’t shining on me
Eclipsed my was over
I stayed mostly because I was afraid
For another disappointment
Seems me and love can never meet up
Just a bunch of missed appointments
Should I give my heart condolence?
Or keep taken these empty Trojans as consoling
Me and my conscious had a conference
You should have heard the all the mean comments
Thinking I should just give up
And be happy with empty boxes of condoms
But theses boxes of randoms
Belong @ the garage sale
My trash is someone's treasure
How ever they just garbage here
Maybe I am just seeing the mirage still
I do wear glasses
Am I victimized cuz I'm astigmaztized
Young Harry potter no magic
Lighting bolt, no voldermort
I am the answer to toms riddle
But I can’t kill my self
I’ve tried everything, swords to missiles see they always do this
Try to play me and make me look foolish
Then I try to blame my self,
Cuz if something wasn’t wrong they wouldn’t do this
They add to my insecurity, but it’s not me
It’s them, it's them, it's them, it’s them
From Questioning to Confident
Every time I kiss these girls goodbye, I know I won’t miss them
Can’t be buoyant with a leak, cuz I'll pollute like an oil tanker
These hoes are air in my sails
But I got the current, so what I really need is an anchor

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Don't Even Know My Name (JOATMON)

I know you...
I know your name
I know how your eyes dance when the sunlight hits them @ the right angle
I know how when you smile, your left one is lower than your right
I know how your smile tilts to the left
I know you love the Jordan 3s in the original colors
I know you were a tomboy before college, so you still walk awkward in heels
I know you got a man
I know you it hard it was to go to a meeting after he slept with your neo
I know you wore sunglasses for weeks straight to cover up the tears and smugged mascara
I know you wanted to leave, but doubted you can find better
I know you want better
I know I'm better

But you dont know that...
You don't know I wait to see pass by everyday
You don't know that we got class in the same building, and I hold the door when you arrive and as you leave
You don't know that I slid you those notes in your bag, when you were too heartbroken to pay attention
You don't know that I hid that last pair of III's that no one could find, just for you when they released
You don't know that I would never treat you wrong
You don't know true happiness yet, because you don't know me
You don't know the color of my eyes
You don't know the sound of my voice don't even know my name


Fighting With God (JOATMON)

I had a fight with God last night.
Condescendingly He glared at me, while I knocked back the last corner of Hennessey
As the last drop of liquid courage rolled into my bowels, I snapped!

I threw the bottle at God and lunged for him…through him
Towards the fully loaded glock laying oh so consolingly on my bed
Defiantly, I turned around, gun square to my temple, staring God straight in the eyes
Laughing as the milliseconds to my fall of freedom tocked

As I pulled the trigger, God grabbed my leg, pulling me towards Him
The bullet shot past my head into the wall; the gun sailed across the room
Anger surged through every cell!
I would not be denied this; after all He has denied me!

Each lunge for my last opportunity of happiness was futile
God knocked me away from it, it away from me
But this would be the last time!
With a deafening yell, I dove towards the gun, turned and aimed right at His heart…
And fired!-Without hesitation or consideration

With every shot that rang out, I cried more and more
Even if I wanted to let stop, I couldn’t!
The gun seemed to meld to my hands
And as the last shots echo dissipated, the smoking sword dropped

I couldn’t open my eyes and accept my actions
Although closed, they leaked like levees
I couldn’t even fall on my sword because all of the bullets were gone…
I dropped…Yet something, someone one caught me
Slowly opening my eyes to discover the witness of my crime, shock engulfed me

God was there holding me and I realized
It was him who was holding my hands to the gun
Ensuring every bullet was gone
And he whispered to me: “You can never leave me, For I will never leave you”

You see last night I had a fight with God
And I won! because you can never lose with God on your team

...Fight with Faith...


Inspired by BMF Gospel Remix "Can't Shoot Through Jesus"

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Lil' Bit (JOATMON)

This is to my Lil' Bit
Apart of me you still have a little bit
Can't no woman touch, it can't be fiddled with
Sometimes in my dreams I can see your silhouette
I race to embrace, then wake up with my pillow wet
I can feel your head, laying in my chest
Wish it wasn't from memory; I'm praying for your best
The time we had was short, but moments last forever
So in those late nights and early mornings we will live forever
Why couldn't we weather, those stupid things that never
really can protect you from life's weather?
Can't hold you like coat or shield you like an umbrella
Selfish motives broke our ties, they the knives that severed
Us from us, I was s without u
Susceptible to it all, I was less without you
I guess I was too hardheaded
Ganja being more important than me, I couldn't accept it
In you I loaned so much interest, I didn't want to let it
Go uncollected-I am unapologetic
For wanting the best for you, I know your potential
If you made it kinetic, your future is exponential
I remember the first time I met you, so eventful
Beautiful without the makeup, face full of pimples
Hello Kitty kitten with a throwed off mental
Hardheaded and rock-hearted from all the bull she been through
While I wished things would have worked between us
If you didn't want to work it wouldn't have worked between us
I'm not happy that in our novel, we only lived the preface
But i am elated to know that we even existed
I know that the story is waiting for us to script it
Pages into chapters, Chapters in to books
Volumes of us rising to the bottom of God's foot
So this little bit, goes out to my Lil' Bit
Big thing in a small package, way more than a little bit...
to me....

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mandi Cortinas Music (JOATMON)

Should've came back for you ,
I thought I had the time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the high school life, I didn't wanna let you go
I knew it wasn't right... Why did I let you go
Hoping you will forgive me, never meant wrong,
Prayed you were patient, waited to long,
But I shouldve came back, but I shouldve came back for you
Shouldve came back, shouldve came back-Shouldve came

With that fake Jacob watch I swore I had enough time
But by the time my wrist turned green, you had enough Ryan
You had enough pain, you had enough crying
You had too much playing, you had to much lying
I was all gas, hell I was trying to clutch Ryan
I was just trying to live, i didn't know I'd rush dying
First to teach me what love is
I didn't want people to see me in public
Kissing and hugging on a girl who wasn't
Cuz to them they was, and I was just becoming
I was so stupid, I guess that how youth is
Rather than pay for half carat diamond, we cop a really big cubic
We were a great harmony, we were choir students
When we kissed it was like perfectly arranged music
The notes were all harped and the beat was all fluted
Why did i let other peoples thoughts pollute it?
My thoughts and their thoughts became cahooted and convoluted
It concluded..and you felt looted
Never could imagine I'd hurt, never dreamt I could do it
Mind full of dirt, so live a vag I tried to douche it
But when you clean out everything, its more susceptible to disease
That's why women stay in my life, like peace in the middle east
Why real love didn't I seize?
I went left at whats right; Why did I let love leave?
Why to my fears did I cede and let us cease
I messed up more that my knee, my four years at Mesquite
All them late nights in ya car at City Lake Park, seem so far
Love shouldn't be hard
Love shouldn't be war
It's funny when things that couldn't be, are
That shouldn't be, are
That wouldn't be , are
When i could have came back, I should have came back
If I realized what I lost I would have came back for you...

Should've came back for you ,
I thought I had the time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the high school life, I didn't wanna let you go
I knew it wasn't right... Why did I let you go
Hoping you will forgive me, never meant wrong,
Prayed you were patient, waited to long,
But I shouldve came back, but I shouldve came back for you
Shouldve came back, shouldve came back-Shouldve came

The one that I omit
The one I cant forget
Like the last shot MJ too kin the 14s to get 6
Now I'm Two Three, looking at the new me
Knowing it's more than money and mamis why I'm in Miami
I'm looking for the win, I'm looking for the ship
Grabbing for that last crumb in the bag of the chips
Looking for things I never lost
Missing things that I never caught
I'm forever off, and I can only blame myself
Baby girl a picture of you still stands on my shelf
It's behind a few things, but I know it's right there watching
You right there watching, I still cant believe what happened
Why did I leave you madam?
I sit alone crying at your picture asking all these questions
Knowing i need to be yelling at the mirror, charging up my reflection
How I saw myself, let to my insecurities
All the ambiguity, animosity, and buffoonery
This is my sincere apology for all the loonery
I made you look stupid, but made my self Blue Clueless
Can't solve the mystery, of the missing me
Don't need CSI to look for the cum
The crook has my DNA, Fingerprints, and motivation
know that I pray for you, know that I care
And the reason I don't call, its cuz I'm embarrassed about all those years
i treated you wrong, and took you for granted,
When you thought I was the world; Girl that's why you still standing
And with my pain all these young girls I'm hazing and branding
They don't even cross, they renegade
Just bringing women in the shade
Now matter how many lemons in lemonade-It's still bitter
I'm still bitter, no richer, never be wealthy
Till i do this I'll never be healthy
Let the record state you my first everything
And you are truly an angel that deserves every wing
Keep soaring...

Should've came back for you ,
I thought I had the time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the high school life, I didn't wanna let you go
I knew it wasn't right... Why did I let you go
Hoping you will forgive me, never meant wrong,
Prayed you were patient, waited to long,
But I shouldve came back, but I shouldve came back for you
Shouldve came back, shouldve came back-Shouldve came

Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Inspired by

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Hello Ms...Today

As the waiter hurries us to our table with warm salutations,
I am aloof towards the elegance of the evening.
Not glance to the posh decor, extravagant ornamentation or opulent aura;

She on the other hand is brimming with glee...
She never thought that dance would lead to this,
This wondrous restaurant with people she could have never met
and food should would not ever try;
But I did...

I grab her chair, seat her, and slid her in
Scanning the room to peer at my family.
You see while this is new to her, it is home to me.
This is the driveway, which leads right to my one room house.
At least there is only one room she will see.

She gets nervous to order food with no prices,
And I reassure her to get what she wants.
As we sip wine, I awestruck her with words and experiences experienced,
But mostly vicarious
She is taken aback by every syllable;
I am drawing forward with every smile.
And by the time the check comes, she is already gone.

As we walk up to my bedroom, I am already thinking about Ms. Tomorrow.
Ms. Right Now is already Ms. Yesterday, and I like to live in the future
So right before I set down my phone to take her up, I send a text saying,
"Hello Ms....Today"


Sunday, June 27, 2010

Midnight Breeze (JOATMON)

It's funny how that the only constant is change
Yet no matter how wounded, you remain
In my veins coursing, in my stomach digesting
On my bones engulfing, in my mind infecting
She came, she came, she came, and she came
She left, she left, she left, and she left...I was a just bishop in the game

I thought that what was...was
But it is, and still is when we met eyes
Face so familiar, but the time has waned
Feelings so familiar, but oh so not the same
The woman I want, and wanted is gone
And you are the shell, the droid, the pawn
But as I walked away, stirred yet eased

Your memory, your name covered when the midnight breezed
...and off it blew...
...and with it...
I flee...


Monday, June 14, 2010


I'm bathing in my tears
Wallowing in your fears
Using others as soap
But the pains still here
I wish it was a shower, but the pain don't drain
Just sulkin and soakin the pain still reigns

You were supposed to be the first one
Second chance @ wedding bands, ended up being the worst one
I was trying to make it work, but it wasn't working
I was blinded by the potential life
In the daze of the haze of you being my potential wife
You had an exponential light and I wanted to see where it shun
Ma of you I was in awe, but just like staring at the sun
Ya aura burnt my coronas
Ya lies Miss scorched my iris
Never again will you return to my retinas
Bring it back Mr. DJ of the relationship records
But when you scratched too much the 45 is damaged
That's why I'm sittin here-sittin here-sittin here stranded

I'm bathing in my tears
Wallowing in your fears
Using others as soap
But the pains still here
I wish it was a shower, but the pain don't drain
Just sulkin and soakin the pain still reigns

Damn! When you broke the dam
All hell broke loose, it was supposed to be damned
I think her name was Tam, naw maybe it was Pam
Man either way I had -am crammed all up in the lam
Living life in nights, I don't even know A.M.
Living life in satellite, no FM, or AM
I don't even know who I am, so i look through photos in a cam
with blurry definition, funny I remember it no different
Living life in the instance, it ends in an instant
Others deep woods huntin, I'm deep sea fishin
Reelin in holy mackerels, penetrating vaginals
In this sport I'm a shark, a whale of an asshole
Set sail with my back to, my past my mast to
A thick chick with ass and a star trail tattoo

I'm bathing in my tears
Wallowing in your fears
Using others as soap
But the pains still here
I wish it was a shower, but the pain don't drain
Just sulkin and soakin the pain still reigns

You stay poppin up in my mind's news ticker
I always see your updates and your new pictures
I cringe everytime I see you dat nigga
....Cuz i was supposed to be dat nigga...
But since he dat nigga
Fuckin all the other hoes, I be Dat nigga
Funny thing is I don't even see that nigga
All i see is weed, dat liqour, these hoes
Like the waterfall video before she goes
In the mirror, not thinkin about if I'm infected
But "Who is this man?" and "Where have I defected?"
Where is my pulse? Why can't I detect it?
If I'm deceased? Can I be resurrected?
Can i be restored? can i be re-corrected?
Can i be revived? Can I be redeemed?
Can we be reteamed, can it be re-dreamed

I'm bathing in my tears
Wallowing in your fears
Using others as soap
But the pains still here
I wish it was a shower, but the pain don't drain
Just sulkin and soakin the pain still reigns

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

America for President in 2022 (R+B=P)

Due to the Constitution, which the government apparently doesn't have to uphold, I have to wait until I am thirty five years old to run for President. And seeing that in 2022 we will most likely be dealing with the same problems as now, or the resulting consequences of today's missteps; I have decided to start my campaign now!

I am running on the platforms of reform and change. (I guess that's a Black thing.)

For far too long we have been letting poeple tell us to make hard choices and hard decisions, whose hardest decision is the Bahamas or Hawaii. Telling us to sacrifice, when they trade dignity for dollars, rights for stock options and the wants of the people they represent for the wants of lobbyist. This has to stop. This will stop.

Let's be completely honest, the executive branch is a mockery of what it used to be, and the office of President has become a figure head. Due to the rise of the fourth branch of our government, the lobbyist, and the increase in political kickbacks from corporations, our government is now deeply rooted in capitocracy. The only way to vote is with the dollar ballot, and for the middle class and lower, that means they are not represented. The legislative branch rules the government, and they only answer to themselves. Look at the Democratic parties inability to pass a square peg through a square hole, with a landslide majority. They have forgotten who they are working for, what they are working for.

It's time for a reminder. It's about the greater good. The good for the greater portion of the nation, not the lesser few. So it's time we not only take back our presidency, but we take back our government. In 2022, I nominate myself, you, my family, us, my country, America for President.

Now being honest, it's gonna be real hard for America to win the Presidency. As stated before the government doesn't even belong to the country. We might as well change our name from the United States of America, to the American Union. Because like the EU, our currency seems to be the only thing keeping us together, and we all know how healthy our currency is. Some may be offended by what I have just said, but it is the truth. We do not act like a country. A country fights together, sweats together, lives together.

We have allowed television pundits to become the political consciousness of the country. Trading progressive ideas, laws, and policies for higher ratings. Producers and writes have become the authors of history and they are devaluing and disrespecting the government and its officials, and are belittling the education and ability of its viewers. The hardworking citizens of this country, in their own homes.No one can come into my home and just tell me anything. Not in my house. And not in our house anymore.

We are to blame, yes America is to blame. We have become so politically apathetic and weak over the years, that we handed over the reigns to wolves. We feel it's pointless. We feel it's hopeless, but we we know that we want to change it. So now is the time to change it.

If I am elected president, America will become the President. Not the People's president, but the Presidency of the People. I will not let the news, entertainment industry, government, corporations and lobbyist steer me. My worry isn't about the monetary deficit, but the moral deficit that we have accumulated. The deficit in equality across race, class, gender, sexual orientation, religion and color. The deficit in opportunities for Americans to provide for themselves and their families. And the deficit in how we treat one another as Americans and neighbors in our shared great nation. But I cannot do it alone, and I will not do it alone. We will all do it together or we cannot do it all. We will unite in our homes, neighborhoods, communities, cities, counties first so that we can truly unites as states of America to show the world why we were and will always be the light of the world.

Red + Blue = Purple

Monday, March 29, 2010

Angels Remix (JOATMON)

I got tired of pleading
Ain't no angels for demons
So I hopped in the all white diablo speeding
Side chick @ the side, the daughter of a deacon
I call her on the weekends
To break her collar and make her knees bend...

So baby holler when the week ends
She know what is, what it was, what it will be
I do her so dirty, but I don't feel filthy
I'm the bailiff Why should I feel guilty?
I'm not accused or convicted
I just take'em to where they headed
Once the judging is committed

I'm a role player, an old player
Doing what I do till its time to go later
I don't remember the Alpha, but I'ma see the Omega
Sigma, the sum of it all
We all know a rise comes with a fall
but sometimes I don't think the skies are coming @ all
My heavens between women's thighs and their comings the call

Haloess and wingless
I left mars, skipped earth and now I'm stranded on Venus
It's hotter closer to the sun
But I'll do what I need to feel closer to the son
So I strap on my jet pack
I got a new chick jet black
Ass like a mule, tight abs, with a wet cat
She think I'm Mr. Right
I don't even see a Misses
I do my dirt with God as a witness
I'll fuck an angel till he listens

Inspired by Dirty Money - Angels


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Drunken Driver (JOATMON)

I've overfilled my life with too many broads
Too many bras
Three many tois

Came along way from a one woman man
I've got way to many issues that one woman can
Handel, so I distribute them like x's
But now I got more functions than guns in Texas

I told my self I would settle down
But I just got started how can I settle now
I let him leave if they wanna
Give him a hug goodbye and let em precede to they Honda

I had to let that wild horse go, and find a new saddle
And if a filly feel me than YAAH
Get ready for the ride, but girl you the car

I'm drunk of life, so I'm never sober
It's one false move and it's over...we over


Drunken Luv (JOATMON)

I've overfilled my life with too many broads
Too many bras
Three many tois

Came along way from a one woman man
I've got way to many issues that one woman can
Handel, so I distribute them like x's
But now I got more functions than guns in Texas

I told my self I would settle down
But I just got started how can I settle now
I let him leave if they wanna
Give him a hug goodbye and let em precede to they honda

They'll get over, shit I had too
I was real fucked up, I was sad too
I couldn't believe she wasn't coming back
I still aint leave, she coming back

So as I wait, my late date
I guzzle down these girls hearts and use they dreams as a chase

Bartender another round!


You Wanna Plate?

As she tip toes out, trying not to wake me
I just stay still; I don’t want her to know that I’m faking
I love to make em cum, but I hate to see em leave
But when the morning comes, here she can’t be
That helps me to deny, to lie
This cant be me, not I, no lie
It started with some drinks and a few kisses
How did I get her on my sink, we broke all my damn dishes

I said the last would be the last
I don’t remember names so I won’t feel that bad
That way they all become one, but they can’t become her
I’m in a relationship with relations, it’s my comfort
I’m committed to not being committed
I’ve remitted my life to the vicious
Cycle, this crazy carousel
I’m just a broken heart casserole, covered in caramel...
You wanna plate?





Monday, March 15, 2010

Im Good... (JOATMON)

She said it was her, but she didn't really mean it
I know it was me, I had to be dreaming
Thinking it was gonna work, we wasn't really clicking
And the only time she seemed smile is when I was dicking
Or when I was licking, the time bomb was ticking
And when it blew, we both knew it was threw
Its the cycle, I know the un-merry go round
And this ride has a lot of ups, but it has twice as many downs
That's why i down twice as many rounds
It seems this circus has twice as many clowns
Walking this tightrope getting harder
While juggling these flames over shark infested water
And the other side if getting further, and the height is getting father
From ground, from the earth, from this motherfucking galaxy
I call to check on her, and she has the nerve to be mad @ me
It seems the world is mad @ me
Ice grills from the masses, mean mugs from these slugs
I wanna kill all they bitch asses
But I gotta chill, when she passes
I can't let her see me fractioned
I won't give her evil ass the fucking satisfaction

"How are you Ryan?"
"You know...I'm Good..."


Monday, February 15, 2010

insatiable, or just a man without a muse?

Both! But a muse would not cure me, I would only want more...therefore insatiable.

Ask me anything

Hey Boo


Ask me anything

do you eat pussy for real

Do you wanna know or do you wanna find owt!? LMAO

Ask me anything

why were u at baylor today


Ask me anything

Are you content with your life, thus far?

No. I prolly never will be content. I am insatiable.

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Friday, February 12, 2010

Ask me anything

Single, Fresh Rose (JOATMON)

She never had a rose before.
Many carnations, daffodils, chrysanthemums and weeds had come and gone,
But they never danced in her mind like the wonder of a single, fresh rose.

She was not greedy for a bouquet.
The awe would lose its power, its significance, its romance if overdone.

One day as she walked, she came upon it.
Freshly cut, petals in full blossom like pursed lips,
The steam green and straight as a line
Unspoiled and dethorned.
She lunged for it with both hands.
And as she grabbed it, it grabbed her,
Melding her soul with the essence of the flora.
As she drew it closer, the aura intensified.
And when it was near the tip of her nose, she inhaled the delicate scent.
Climatic, orgasmic.
It was everything she had imagined.

And then without warning jagged and crooked thorns shot out every surface of the stem,
Puncturing deep inside her hands.
The rose turned old and sour,
Its reddish glow, descending to a desolate auburn.
But still she stood their clenching it tighter, praying for it to come back,
Turning it upside down so that her blood would run down the steam and stain the petals red again.
The agony sent her into shock, and she dropped to the ground, rose still in her clutches.
She wouldn't let it go.
She couldn't let it go.

You see...
She never had a rose before.
Many carnations, daffodils, chrysanthemums and weeds had come and gone,
But they never danced in her mind like the wonder of a single, fresh rose.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I had been crawling through this world for so long.
Tired, exhausted and deprived.
This colorless nightmare haunted my consciousness.
This can't be life.

One day I came across a lone rose laying askew in the middle of the road.
The petals were perfectly in blossom with a brilliant fiery crimson hue,
And a vivid harlequin stem ornamented with thorns
Simply enchanting...
After my awe struck moment, I lunged for it.
I lunged for beauty, color...
I lunged for life-but it was to my own dismay.

The jagged thorns ripped through my skin like a chainsaw and tore my hand.
I dropped the damned weed immediately and then fell to my knees from agony.
The tidal wave of blood rushed from my hand and flooded the ground.
I screamed for someone, anyone to help me.
But my screams fell only upon my screams,

As the tears streamed and the pain soared, I cut my eyes to curse my damned enemy,
But then noticed something peculiar.
Then the blood was diffusing into the rose making it bigger, redder, thornier.
And as it morphed, I felt something in me leave.
I then hunched closer towards the rose and yet again I was dumbfounded.
I saw the new thorns emblazoned with my initials...and with her initials

How could something so beautiful be so ugly?
I never thought a rose would hurt me so bad!
But hell...I never thought she would either.

The rose is red, because I am blue.
It took my air, when you took you...away...

Follow and Feel

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Fear Ye Not
For the future is reachable, inevitable
The past though regrettable, is barely memorable
And the present is unmentionable, forgettable
There is no practice, there is no final buzzer
Every second is the game
Play as if it is always one tick, in the final period
And the goal line is an inch away
The rim is at your fingertips
And the ball is on the brim of your glove

For while victory's glow lays firm in your grasp
It is always shadowed by defeat
Live in the Light

Thursday, January 28, 2010

State of the Union (Red + Blue = Purple)

My name is Ryan Emmanuel Phipps, a 23 year old Black American graduate of Baylor University; current employee of the Bank of America. A resident of Dallas, Texas, a son of Dallas, Texas. Now, after all the identifiers, the only one that really matters, is the fact that I am an American. The others differentiate me, and separate me. And they have separated us for far too long.

This is America, We are America.

I would say people have forgot that, but the problem is that people don't remember that.
People love to go back and invoke memories of the forefathers and foremothers, but I cannot. I was born in 1987 in the Piny Woods of East Texas, in a small town of Trinity, Texas. My first President was Bush the father, who I was not cognizant to, but still have felt the ripples of his tenure in my life time. Early on I was socialized to believe how people wanted me to believe, but being the stubborn know-it-all I am, it never worked. I could since right and wrong from a very young age. What was wrong with me being extra nice to my white teacher, or having a white girl friend in pre-kindergarten? What was wrong with me being born out of wed lock or not knowing my father? What was wrong with my skin color and why was it such a big deal? Those were questions I did not want to ask, but were forced to. And as I grew I asked many more of the same type of questions. Why does my mother have to work 2 jobs and become stressed while other moms don't? Why do I have to live by drug dealers and gang bangers? It's not about fair, its about whats right. And it seemed to me this land of opportunity for the fortunate few.

This is America.

Not fortunate as in wealth, but as in luck. Far gone are the days where working hard gets you somewhere. Far gone are the days where you can even find work. To have a job is fortunate in this time where unemployment rates are up and everyone no matter degree or pedigree are fighting for the same low paying, no opportunity jobs.
Far gone are the days where we politics where left in the meeting rooms and agendas where they belong. The socioecopolitical society that we now are deeply rooted is the major cause of most of the inability to change in this country. Everything becomes an issue, everything becomes a story, every thing becomes a battle ground. This wins go for the party, not the country, the loobyist, not the people, the corporation, not America.

This is America.

We live in a time where we don't even know the people who live next door to us. To say neighbor would be a severe overstatement. We are closer with people hundreds and thousands of miles away from us, thanks to the evolution of social networking. But your face book friends aren't watching your house when you are way, your my space friends aren't watching your car when you aren't looking, the people you are following aren't even following you and they cant tweet you when your kids are playing in your front yard and get hurt. What happened to our communities? What happened to our neighborhoods? No wonder we are in the situation we are in. When you don't know your child's teachers, principles, the officers that patrol your neighbor hood or even the name of your city mayor? How can you be a neighbor, a member of the community, a citizen of the city? Moreover, in this time, people drive 45 minutes plus just to go to worship. They probably pass hundreds of churches on there way to this mega church where you cannot even talk to the pastor. When you have to make a 2 week advanced appointment to meet your pastor, then there is a problem. When your pastor has bodyguards there is a problem? America we have a problem because this is America, now.

But it doesn't have to be forever.

Go back in to your homes. Talk to your kids, get to know your kids, love your kids. Find out who there friends are, teachers are, principles are, idols are. Go back into your neighborhoods. Knock on your neighbors door, find out who they are, chat with them, bond with them. Stop a cop and ask him who he is, why is he patrolling your neighborhood, how you can help. Go back into your communities, go to worship in your community. Find out who the people are that live around you, get to know the issues that their facing, how y'all can come together to get y'alls common goals accomplished. Go back into your cities. Find out what areas need the most help and go and volunteer, go and build them up. Invest in them, invest in the people, invest in yourself. Go back into our country! Take a family vacation to New Orleans and find out why it is no place to vacation to. There was over 61 million raised by Hope for Haiti, but the New Orleans telethon only raised 30 million. If you go to the wards of that city you can easily find where 31 million more dollars could be desperately needed. Churches and groups do thousands of missionaries overseas and invest millions of dollars abroad, but that charity, money, time, and supplies can be seriously used in the post hurricane carnage of new Orleans, slums of new york, Chicago, Detroit, Dallas, Los Angeles...of America

This is America! We are America!

So let's start acting like it!